Monday, February 1, 2010

Cutting Through the Maze

I'm Saying it, You Should Have Been Thinking It

Joe Perry is touring to promote his solo album Have Guitar, Will Travel. What a turnoff album title. Anyone who would okay such an unoriginal title is not someone I would expect much from. I can already hear the replies to that: "Hey, have you heard it?" No. And I intend not. He could have at least twisted those cliched words, to something like Have Travel, Will Guitar. Just another guy with a riff.
Key word: "cliched" -- something used over and over again to the point it loses any meaning or value.
...
So, Steven Tyler is in rehab for a painkiller addiction brought on by orthopedic problems. It's always "brought on" by something, isn't it? Why not just come out and say he was addicted to it because he liked it. It makes you wonder what his past "brought ons" involved.
Key word(s): "brought on" -- a person with an addiction needs to take personal responsibility for their actions -- "brought on" is not part of the vocabulary.
...
Wild costumes, canned and Pro-Tooled vocals. Lady Gaga. What next? She runs off with Wanda Sykes? Oh, I get it. It's theater. Does she still run off with Wanda Sykes?
Key word: "theater" -- find a category for such junk at the Tony Awards.
...
The Grammy Awards remain a joke. Steve Martin gets the potmetal for best bluegrass album? What an insult to those boys and girls in Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, Missouri, Arkansas and Tennessee who, oh, never mind.
Key word: "Grammy" -- enough said.
...
The Bakersfield connection? It's there somewhere. It always is.
-30-

No comments: