Bands, listen up!

An unexpected Christmas present

A gentleman from Tulsa sends me his regular Zig Gazette. I don't recall why or how it came about but this one I found especially enjoyable, mainly the part I culled here verbatim:

Rules For Bands (some of them. Thanks to Wanda and several others who sent this)

Never start a trio with a married couple.
Before you sign a record deal, look up the word ‘recoupable.’
No one cares who you’ve opened for.
Strings do not make your song more important.
Never name a song after your band.
Never name your band after a song.
Don’t enter a ‘Battle Of The Bands’ – if you do you’re already losers.
Learn to recognize scary word pairings like ‘rock opera,' ‘white rapper,' ‘blues jam,’swing band,’ and ‘open mike.’
Drummers can go shirtless or wear gloves, but not both.
Playing two towns doesn’t mean you’re ‘on tour.'
If you use a fog machine, your music sucks.
Oxymorons: Major label interest, demo deal, blues genius, $500 guarantee, and Fastball’s second hit.
Never coming back: a) gongs, b) headbands, c) playing slide guitar with a beer bottle.

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